my life as a loser.: April 2010

Friday, April 30, 2010

twenty two.

I suck. Plain and simple. I will never be able to get over certain things, and I will never be able to realize what is important. People say that in life you should have no regrets; I guess I missed that memo. I've said and done so many dumb things in my short while on this planet that I wish I hadn't. To quote Red, "There's not a day goes by I don't feel regret. Not because I'm in here or because you think I should. I look back on the way I was then. I want to talk to him. I want to try and talk some sense to him, tell him the way things are, but I can't." I am selfish, shy, and unwilling to open up.

twenty one.

I am no photographer, nor do I strive to be one. However, I do enjoy taking photos from time to time and on occasion I take one that I really like. While looking through my old hard drive, I found some that I really like and figured I'd share.

twenty.

Yesterday was a huge bummer wave for a while. I come home from class and my roommate comes to sit by me on the couch looking super down. After we try and skate, which still for me seems to be impossible with my mess of a head, he tells me a good friend of his died in a motorcycle accident the night before. More bad news right? Well, afterwards we struggled to think of things to do...being lost and uncertain of things has a huge effect on my motivation and determination to get things done. I could tell my roommate was kinda feeling the same way. Vinny came home and took us to Hooters.

You know your self esteem has hit rock bottom if you actually want to go here. For me, the place is nothing more than a haven for old, depressed men who want to be surrounded by insecure girls and pay out the ass for shitty wings and beer. I just felt bad for everyone there. Hopefully one day I don't end up like that.

This pitcher cost close to $15, give me a break.

I don't know why but I liked this.

Oh Cus...

Vinny took us to this place that he used to work in after we realized how terrible Hooters really is.

Why wouldn't the walls be covered by pin-up girls. Constant reminders of a great past and shitty future.

Only could stay for a little while because I had to head to the opening of A Nightmare on Elm Street. Ahh I was so excited, but going alone really sucks. All I wanted to do was talk to someone about it or just nerd out and say "Ohh that's the girl that's going to get dragged on the ceiling" or "Ohh Freddy just said Fuck!"

Hello old friend. I saw the piffsquad there, and Sophia was dressed as lady Freddy which was pretty sick. Well, awesome until the movie ended because it actually kinda sucked. Jackie Earl Harvey was amazing as Freddy and the death scenes were so gruesome and great, but the movie overall was so fast paced and the other actors were so shitty. Thumbs up Jackie, thumbs down Platinum Dunes.

I celebrated by watching the original on my couch when I got home.

It's so hard to think about what is happening. Thinking about someone you care so much about doing something you never would have expected is a serious soul reaping. I go to bed every night and wake up every morning with the most terrible feeling; last night I just wanted to yell at the top of my lungs just to let out some stress. Fuck, I'm lonely. Tonight Nico and I are going to see the 20th anniversary show of The Soft Parade, so hopefully we'll feel a little better about our current situations. Keep your head up dude.